Is It Really Okay?
by RyeBreadQueen
Summary: Okay so this will be a bunch of missing scenes from 3.22 The Bitter End. I feel like we missed out on some things we should've seen instead of things that could have been condensed or eliminated in this episode or the one right after. So this is my take on it. Rating is for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So I really wanted to write this, and I'm not entirely sure why, but it's probably because I spent my weekend binge watching season three. So this will essentially be a bunch of missing scenes with the aftermath of S3E22. Scenes will include the family finding out, Vinny's funeral, etc. I feel like we deserve this since the show decided not to give it to us. Yes I'm still working on my A-Z whump, but I have at the moment run out of ideas for that so I needed to work on something else for a while. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Bloods or any of the characters**

 **Scene: The Call**

 **(As a notice I'm doing conversation in this story a little different, mainly because there will be a lot of different people and I don't want to type out "*name* said" every single time someone says something.)**

Sunday dinner was going fairly well, ad of current, no major arguments had been started and nobody had stormed out angry, so it was good in anyone's sense. The room however felt a bit less entertaining without Jamie to help dispel the gloom.

Of course, Jamie himself hadn't been himself, not since the girl jumped off the building. It wasn't his first body, but this time it had hurt, especially the fact that he had his baby with him. Los Lordes had ruled for far too long, but the Reagan family was about to find out how bad the relationship between Bitterman and the NYPD was.

Erin: Are you sure dad? Jamie never takes an extra tour, especially not on Sundays. He's only ever missed Sunday dinner when he was away at Harvard.

Danny: He's still struggling Erin. He tried to talk down that girl and she still jumped. I told him to lean on his partner to get through this, that's probably what he's trying to do.

Linda: Well I for one am glad that him and Vinny are finally getting along. He always seemed upset in the beginning you know, and with them not getting along, I would've hated for something to happen because they didn't…you know what I mean?

Henry: Yeah. I'll tell you. They have different ideas of how to run things. Jamie's more patient. They're both good cops, they just have different strategies. I saw that when I went on that ride-along with them.

Nicky: I think that would be fun, to do a ride-along. Do you think Uncle Jamie would let me?

Erin: I don't know. You'd have to ask him.

Just then, Frank's cell phone rang, causing him to sigh. He got up and left the room to answer his phone.

Frank: Hello? Garret I'm kind of busy right now, can you call back- who is it? What? And we know the situation on both of them for sure? Okay. Call detective Baez and have her go down to the scene. I'm putting Danny on the case, but I think he'll need some time. Let my detail know to be at my house stat, we'll go to the hospital. Don't let any officers in to see him except for Sergeant Renzulli. Yes. He's already with him? Okay. I'll see you there Garret.

Frank hung up. He felt like a knife had stabbed his heart. They were down one officer, Officer Vinny Cruz. Officer Reagan's partner. Jamie's partner. His son. He felt déjà vu hit him like a ton of bricks. No, this was not Joe. He had to remind himself. Jamie was okay, he would be okay. He was just hit in the vest.

Sighing, Frank walked back into the dining room. Expectant faces looked up at him, the fear and stress apparently evident on his face. He hesitantly started speaking in his commissioner voice.

Frank: Twenty minutes ago, a 10-13 came into dispatch. Officer Jamison Reagan called it in and shots fired. The call was initially requesting backup for a purse thief. The perp ran into the Bitterman complex. It was a setup. The officers were both shot at. Officer Reagan was hit in the shoulder. His best stopped it. Officer Cruz was hit in the throat. He was gone before the responding officers arrived on scene.

What happened next what chaos. Gasps, yelps. Shock and fear filled the faces at the table. All except Jack and Sean, who were oblivious to what just happened.

Henry: Good lord. This issue with Bitterman has gone on long enough Francis. We've lost an officer, and I almost lost another grandson. We couldn't handle losing another one. I know that we couldn't. I'm going to wring all of their stupid little necks.

Danny: Dad… the kid is okay. Right?

Frank: He'll be fine. Just a nasty bruise. You and I are going to the hospital. I've ordered Renzulli to stay with him until we arrived. Your partner is on scene, I'm putting you two on this case but I assumed you would want to see your brother first.

Danny: God. This is going to kill him. Do we know where exactly Jamie was when Vinny…you know?

Frank: I wasn't informed of that. I did hear that he wasn't being very cooperative with the doctors, but claiming he wants to leave. We better get going. I don't want to hold up Renzulli too long. I'm going to have to go back to work, probably hold a press conference, but for now I need to see and tend to my son, that's more important.

Erin: Dad. Are you going to bring him back here? I need to see him…to know he's not...like Joe. Please give him a hug and a kiss from me. God…how close was it?

Frank: Too close Erin. Too close.

At that, the two men left for the hospital.

Linda: We better just clean everything up. Everyone was pretty much done eating anyways. And besides, I think by now I've lost my appetite.

Linda, Erin and Nicky cleaned up in silence. All three of them had worried about the three that went out and risked their lives every day, they knew all too well what could happen after Joe. But lightning didn't strike twice. Or did it? The women, Henry, Jack and Sean all went to the living room to wait on news.

 **Author's Note: Okay so I don't know how well you liked this, but I really wanted to write this. The next scene will be Renzulli's account of the call coming through and him arriving on scene up until Danny and Frank walk in the hospital, which will be the chapter after that. Please read and review, let me know what you think of doing dialogue this way. It was just easier and sounded better to me than just doing it the normal way .Alright I hope you enjoyed this. Please review, until next time my lovelies.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Alright so here is this chapter. It kind of scared me to write this and keep in mind most of these chapters will be short, because it is just missing scenes. I will write another story at some point about Jamie's reactions and how he is dealing and everything. There may be something about the family vacation as well. I still need suggestions for my Jamie whump story to continue, because I am stuck on the letter I am on currently, so help. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this. Dialogue in this chapter should be normal, because there isn't as much.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods or any of the characters**

 **Scene- The response**

Of all of the rookies he had trained in his years on the force, the youngest Reagan kid had to be Renzulli's favorite. Not that he would ever say that to his face of course, but he knew that he would do great things. He saw a lot in the young rookie, he saw things from both of his brothers, and even his father. And in that token, he could become a cop that might even rival all three of them.

The call for an officer down was purely enough to bring a stomach ache to any officer out on patrol, and they knew they had to get there. Even if it wasn't an officer they knew, they were still a brother or sister in blue, somebody who needed help and if they could get it to them, they would.

Any down officer was immediately tended to and worried over, but the commissioner's son? The stories he had heard about their boss's youngest alone were enough to make any officer worry for their safety. But if they could prove something to the commissioner by helping the boy, then they would for sure.

That's why Renzulli's world stopped when the call came through. The panic in Jamie's voice over the radio ran chills down his spine. He was riding with a new transfer out of the 3-6 that day, who had been being taunted because his oldest child had come out as gay. The man had accepted his child of course, but some of the others in his squad weren't as open.

Aidan, the transfer, widened his eyes "Oh my god. That's where that girl jumped off of the building with her kid isn't it?"

"Yeah it is kid, that's also my favorite rookie who just happens to be the commissioner's son. I do not want to be the one to call him." Renzulli said as he turned the lights and sirens on and sped off in a hurry.

Renzulli drove the squad car like a madman, desperate to get to the place where the call had come through. "Both officers are unresponsive. Be on you're a-game when we get there." So many scenarios ran through his mind of what could possibly happen.

As the two pulled up, about five other squad cars did as well at the same time. Renzulli got out of the car and started running. He had no idea what to expect. For all he knew. Jamie was dead. Then he'd be down two very fine officers. What kind of supervisor would that make him? And he trained the kid, what kind of training officer would that make him? Of course he had gone through that inner conflict after Joe died, seeing as he had trained him too. But after Jamie explained to him what happened with the Blue Templar, he realized there was probably nothing he could have done to prevent that.

Renzulli couldn't bear to let his mind wander, to imagine all of the possibilities. He saw in his head, his rookie lawing dead on the ground in a pool of blood. He saw Detective Reagan screaming at him for not doing his job and protecting his kid brother. He saw the pain on the commissioner's face when he was informed that his son was no longer with them. He stopped himself and took a deep breath.

The main quad of Bitterman was eerily silent. It was empty as well, which was strange as there was always tons of people hanging around, kids playing, Los Lordes scheming, but this time there was absolutely nobody. And no sound, which he assumed meant that both of his brothers in blue were dead. He was wrong.

He saw the shell casings from Jamie's rounds first, followed by the small pool of blood Vinny had left before being pulled to cover. His stomach twisted at the sight of the blood, immediately thinking the worst. He walked around the corner and stopped abruptly, as did the other officers on the scene.

Jamie was sitting up against the wall. His arms were wrapped firmly around the limp body of his partner. He had one hand on his chest, the other covering the bloody mess on Vinny's neck. Jamie's face was pale, and his eyes were unseeing.

Renzulli's heart wrenched at seeing the kid like this. He didn't even have to check, he knew that Cruz was gone merely by the glazed and blank look on Jamie's face. He also knew that Jami had tried CPR, due to the blood on his face and the position the hand was on his chest.

Renzulli kneeled in front of his old rookie. "Kid" He managed to croak out. "There's a bus coming. Are you good? Were you hit?"

Jamie didn't respond. He didn't even look at the Sergeant in front of him, he was essentially gone, or brain dead or something.

"C'mon kid please. I need to know you're okay."

Jamie came back into his mind at the word 'okay' and tensed suddenly "Sarge" He whispered, the pain clear in his voice. "My shoulder. The vest got it. It was a set up."

Renzulli nodded and looked at the kid in desperation. "You need to let him go so we can take him where he needs to go and you need to go to the hospital. Someone call a bus! In the meantime I can take your statement."

Jamie shook his head and gripped Vinny's body harder.

"I need some help over here!" Renzulli called.

A few officers came over and started to pry Vinny out of Jamie's grasp, and despite the protests, they finally won.

"No. Please" Jamie said as they took his partner away, watching helplessly as there was nothing he could do.

"Tell me everything Harvard. We need to know."

Jamie stood up and straightened, before reciting the incident in an almost robotic sounding voice. "Officer Cruz and I were standing outside of our squad car talking, when man grabbed a woman's purse and took off. We both pursued, and the man ran into the Bitterman complex. That's when I called for backup. When Officer Cruz and I arrived, there was nobody here. I figured out it was a set up but it was too late. I was hit first and dove for cover. I hid and saw Vinny go down. That's when I radioed the ten-thirteen. I went back out, fired off three rounds and pulled him under cover. I tried. Everything. Nothing worked, he just…let go."

Just as Jamie finished speaking, the ambulance arrived. And Jamie? Well, he shut down.

 **Author's Note: Okay so yay another chapter, another missing scene. I hope this one was better than the last because yeah the first one wasn't too great but I think I did better on this one. Next up I think I'm going to do Danny and Frank arriving at the hospital to check on Jamie and take him home. Anyway, please read and review, let me know what you thought of this chapter. Anything you saw is greatly appreciated I can guarantee it. Until next time my lovelies.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Okay guys so I think this is going to end up being the last chapter. This is mainly due to lack of ideas and I need to focus on my whump story, as I want that finished up before testing starts for me, which is just in a couple of weeks. I'm sorry I couldn't get out more chapters for you guys but honestly I just ran out of what to do. I definitely hope you like this chapter, writing it made me cry and you'll see why once you read the title, unless you already have. Keep in mind I have never been to or seen a funeral, so if some of my facts about what happened aren't quite right, I'm sorry in advance. Anyways, here it goes guys!**

 **Warning: You may need tissues**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods or any of the characters**

 **Missing Scene 3: The Funeral**

Jamie Reagan didn't like funerals. No, he didn't just dislike them, he hated them. He'd been to too many in his life. His grandma, his mom, and then Joe. He had wished that he would never have to go to another one again, but he knew that was unrealistic. He had survived those, barely. But he dreaded this one.

He didn't want to go, but he had to. Because Vinny was his partner, and he needed to say goodbye properly. As his partner he had responsibilities. Being a pall bearer, handing the flag to the family. He didn't have to do this, but Vinny's mother had asked him to say a few words, and he knew that he couldn't refuse.

He was expected to arrive at the 12th early in his dress blues. He and Renzulli were going to be the leading squad cars in the procession and he had to be ready. He sighed and stared at his face in the mirror. He didn't look like himself. This wasn't Jamie Reagan. Jamie Reagan wasn't this pale, nor was he this thin (see my a-z whump m chapter), nor did he have dark circles under his eyes. But here he was, staring in the mirror at himself.

Jamie checked his watch and realized it was time to go. Time to face the family of the person who had been haunting his nightmares for days. It was always the same dream every time.

He was running after the purse thief. Just him. The thief pulled a gun. Jamie fired but hit his arm, not wanting the shot to be fatal. But it was, every time. The thief would fall onto the hard concrete of the Bitterman Quad, blood pouring out of the sudden wound in his neck. As Jamie approached the thief on the floor, it morphed into a body and face he knew so well, the same one he had spent the last year riding with in a car every day.

Vinny's face looked up at him, pleading. Jamie could see the life slowly fading out of him, and Vinny trying to breathe. "This is all your fault Reagan. Some cop you are." And then he would die.

And Jamie would wake up, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Every single night. He could never get back to sleep after those dreams.

As he got into his car to drive to the precinct, he went over and over his speech in his head. He had written it and revised it about five times, having absolutely no idea what to say. Jamie knew that he could never fit in everything that made up Vinny, and he wasn't going to try to either. He just wanted to honor his partner.

Jamie stepped into the precinct and the mood was solemn. There were officers everywhere in their dress blues, getting ready to go. Those who weren't attending the funeral stayed to cover the shifts of those who were. Renzulli approached him with a tight-lipped smile on his face. "Ready kid?" He choked out.

Jamie just nodded. He knew he wasn't ready for this, and he doubted anything could make him ready for this. But he went anyway.

He sat in silence as Renzulli drove the car with the lights on, an endless stream of other police cars following in line behind him. Jamie stared at the window. There were people and news crews lining the streets. Many of them were waving American flags. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, but it made him sick that so many people, people that never knew him, were trying to honor Vinny in the same way that he was.

As they arrived at the church, there were tons of more people. Jamie got out of the car and waited. As he was a pallbearer, he wasn't even coming in until everyone else was seated. So he stood and leaned against the car, ignoring the silent glances people were throwing his way. He knew his family was probably already in there, as well as his father.

He suddenly wasn't sure he could make this speech without throwing up. He had to practically pour his heart out over an officer, his partner, his friend in front of hundreds of people.

The coffin arrived and Jamie had to look away. He was extremely glad that it wasn't open, because he didn't think he would make it through this funeral if it was. He put his wand where he needed to and just began.

As Jamie walked into the church, he kept his face straight forward. He didn't want to see the faces of anyone, not the grieving, and especially not the sympathy. The coffin wasn't very heavy, he didn't know why he expected it to be. The church was packed. There was a sea of blue in the room, most of those officers being out of the 12th. You could just barely spot the family in the front row.

Once the coffin was where it needed to be, Jamie took his seat, next to Renzulli. His sergeant had saved it for him, and he knew that Renzulli just wanted to keep an eye on him, so he didn't say anything.

Most of the talking passed by fast in Jamie's head. He wasn't really paying very much attention. His mind was wandering to his speech, and suddenly he wanted to change it.

"And now, before the flag ceremony and salute, Officer Cruz's partner, Jamie Reagan has been asked to say a few words." Said the person at the podium.

All heads immediately turned to Jamie, and he took a deep breath, standing, he walked up to the podium and looked out into the crowd. He spotted his family, looking up at him with surprise and concern on their face. He didn't know where to begin, so he just began.

"Vinny always wanted nothing more than to help people. Especially the people of the Bitterman projects, where he grew up. And it's strange to think that he died doing exactly what he wanted. I don't want his death to mean nothing, because it already does mean something. I hate to think of it this way, but in his death he helped convince the people of Bitterman to step forward, and look where we are. We've essentially cleaned it out. And I know I couldn't be any more proud of him. No matter what was going on, he could always crack a joke to make you feel better. As much as I just want to say how he was amazing and will be missed by everyone, it's not the truth is it? Because although he may be remembered, only those who truly loved him will honor him. And that's what I want to do. I want to honor Vinny. Because no matter what happened to him, he will always be an NYPD officer, he will always be my partner, and he will always be my friend." When Jamie stopped speaking, at least three fourths of the room was crying or close to it.

He stepped up to the coffin and saluted his fallen partner, before whispering a subtle "I'll miss you" Before walking to the other side. The officer folded the flag, and handed it to Jamie, who squeezed it gently then handed it to the family.

Vinny's mother hugged him tightly, and he sat back down.

The rest of the funeral passed fairly quickly, at least in Jamie's mind. When everyone else had left, he knelt down and prayed.

He prayed for his grandma, and his mom, and Joe. He prayed that Vinny was up there bothering the hell out of them. He smiled at that thought, knowing that Joe and Vinny would probably be good friends.

Jamie prayed for what felt like hours, but in reality it was only about ten minutes. He thought back to how he and Vinny didn't get along at first, and how close they grew to be in a year, almost as close as brothers. He knew he would always miss him but he would also cherish the time he had gotten with Vinny. And for the first time since Vinny's death, he cried.

 **THE END**

 **Author's Note: So I really hope you enjoyed this story and the missing scenes. I'm sorry to say I'm ending it here, but I really need to focus on other things and other stories. Expect another Whump chapter by Sunday, and look out for any random one shots I may just decide to throw in there. Overall, I think this way a pretty successful story and I hope you liked it. Please review! So, until next time my lovelies.**


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